is 2 time u.s. figure skating champion johnny weir gay? he has a highly refined and balletic style, skin that's clearly courtesy of the finest all natural beauty products from nordstrom, is the first and only man to skate to swan lake, and is named johnny. not all skaters are gay of course (but he must be). in fact it was '84 olympic gold medalist scott hamilton who purposely wore a plain blue getup for his winning night because he was sick of how glittery and glitzy and "feminine" the costumes were getting at the time. i'm not saying scott hamilton was homophobic, but it's fucking fabric, not a sexual orientation. johnny however has no such hangups.
he's had a rough season until today, when he took the lead in the men's short program. if he nails his free skate, he's headed to the olympics. and the press will have to come up with even more code words for gay. here's the current sampling:
"he's as flamboyant as liberace but more competitive. he's as tough as bruce willis but a better dresser."
"back to his old artistic, eccentric self"
"when the music softened, so did weir, with delicate hand gestures and upper-body movements that made him look, yes, swanlike"
and on his costume (take that scott hamilton): "black on the bottom, gray, white, mesh and gold on the top, and sporting enough sparkle and sequins to make a diva jealous"
most telling is johnny on his costume: "i've actually named it camille."
and johnny on his victory in today's short program: “figure skating is an amazing ride. you’re feeling like the lowest scum in the pond two hours ago, and go to the prettiest flower in the pond”
and comparing his program to another skater's: “it’s not one of those you can clap along to. this one they kind of sat back and had their cognac and cigarettes and relax. his was more like a vodka shot, let’s snort coke kind of thing."
wait he can't be gay. he doesn't snort coke. never mind.
update: he won nationals with a close to spot on performance festooned in glittery blue and silver. still he's going to have trouble medaling in torino without a quad. while getting his free skate scores in the kiss and cry area he started removing his tights, unhooking them from his skates and showing off his thighs, knees and calves. no one else ever does that. while backstage gearing up for his performance he was wearing a mickey mouse tee while listening to his ipod. and i learned it's actually the red glove of his costume he'd named camille, not the whole costume, and that if he doesn't do well he blames it on camille. so he's a glittery, stripping, glove personifying, mickey mouse wearing winner. gay. gay. gay. gay.