ultranow

what is matt at uknakedmen smiling about?

if you do some gay math, also known as new homosexual math, you'll probably figure out why he's smiling has everything to do with what's between his legs and i suppose all the privileges and benefits his anatomy affords him in life. extra mints on his pillow. faster turnaround time for his dry cleaning. and a line of slobbering, dyson vacuum cleaner inspired t-suckers. the t stands for truncheon. get all of matt at uknaked men now. and a visual explanation for all the fuss after the jump.

i know why his pants tore open

after the jump just because

overacting and artificially flavored

golden girls tattoo moment

question: on whom and on what part of that person's body is this tat? 

answer: tommy lee, dick

it's glamorous to pose naked on the toilet, right?

of if not glamorous, then it's just naked to pose naked on the toilet. after the naked jump. p.s. naked.

naked sit-up and naked sit-up related penis

after the precautionary jump.

subtle spread leg preppysexuality

it's the return of the preppysexual (as first catalogued 2006style).

yay it's national spelling bee time again!

is that how to spell yay?  for a complete tv schedule and speller bios go to spellingbee.com.  it is fierce ferocious!  just remembered fierce is out ever since christian on project runway overkilled it.  options are ferocious or just fe-ro-ci-a.  i'm rooting for seattle's elizabeth zhang.  i stumbled across the regional bee on a local cable station and watched her calmy decimate the competition.  i love it when the winner is the one who actually got the toughest words and wins by spelling a word she's clearly never heard.  it's just geek showdown paradise.  though last year's winner who i swear had no reaction to winning was such an anticlimactic geek poser.  a real geek is like rebecca sealfon from 1997.  you've seen this before right?  if not, hold on to something because she's going to geek you like you've never been geeked before.  i still remember sjp on rosie talking about her and mb seeing rs on the bee and loving it.  and yes motherfuckers i have a post category for spelling bees.

and espn's snotty but worthwhile take on her, a la mystery science theater 3000.

britney spears blah blah blah

on the off chance that since this is a gay blog there's an expectation of occasional britney spearsness, since i really don't have anything to say about her i haven't already, here's a montage-a-google of "britney spears disaster" which ought to cover it.

damn, this is one letter off from being my dream movie

as in spunky treckies [trekkies]. or three letters off if spunky changes to spocky too