so the republican national committee launched some new extra scumsucking robocalls yesterday trying to scare people into voting for mccain palin. obama is avoiding the robocall route - i expect because he is focusing on actual issues and because he has a mass number of actual human volunteers who are calling people and speaking from the heart. not that robots can't have hearts. hey brent spiner's data, call me!
but should obama or the democratic national committee decide to go all robocall, here's a proposed script designed to appeal to multiple demographics simultaneously:
"had a rough weekend dragging your kids to high school musical 3 and having to put up with their pre-adolescent screeches? sick of watching the view because it never expresses how you feel? grossed out by turkey necked ex-pows who are too macho to have ever gotten therapy for their post-traumatic stress? terrified of women who want gay people dead? and by gay people i mean probably your son. hey he liked high school musical 3, right? sick of the whole country looking racist and terrifying to a huge portion of the world which by the way is not a majority white world, hello?! into internet neutrality so you could log on just as fast to cnn.com as you could to cunnt.com? want your dollar to actually be able to buy something besides the ever shrinking in portion size dollar menu from some fast food behemoth? want to be interrupted by robocalls from sexy sexy democratic robots who wear cut-off jean shorts and sneakers with no socks or t-shirts and who are whores? want control over you own body? a chance at a better educational system? a healthcare system less controlled by insurance companies and drug companies? a president whose wife isn't an elitist fake as hell overaccessorized dangerous snob? a sane, competent option to a vice-president who believes there should be no separation between church and state, and no separation between state and corruption? then vote vote vote for obama biden 08. sexy sexy robot signing off."