ultranow

montana parfum d'homme is the most french montana thing ever

as seen on gay tv

worst best fake real infomercial evah

gay bob: the world's first gay doll for everyone

was this before gay guys named bob started insisting on going by robert? this bob was genuinely a precursor to the '90s billy doll and while not unrealistic in its body image like the tom of finland inspired billy, it is unrealistic in other ways, none more so than "Take me home to meet your folks, your Mom will love me." i mean, since when is mom capitalized?

the shake weight for men

this is absolutely real. as in real product. and real real real real real gay metrosexual obnoxious ridiculous and most likely injury producing. as an alternative, i would suggest perusing the fine links in my right sidebar. i believe youlovejack, seancody and the rest present equally inspiring exercise opportunities.

p.s. they really shoulda bothered with a before and after here. i wanted to see bear meat jiggle.

dude you're dead shut the fuck up already

tackiest gay pride liquor display ever

tackiness checklist:

• garish colors - yes
• spinning - yes
• customized text of local gay neighborhood to improve connection to target audience - yes
• part of display (poster) blocking other part o display (pride means) - yes
• extra absolut mini-posters stuck to larger poster - yes
• product, despite color motif, isn't gay yet is pretending to be gay - yes
• misspelling (um, it's absolute, duh) - yes
• manages to be tackier than guitar on top shelf in background - yes
• i'm not visible in the mirror behind it because it's such a huge display - yes
• it never existed and was entirely a group hallucination - yes

the perfect buttfuck exercise machine

yeah there's an english version of this and a full horrible informercial. below is just a clip. but this gets the gist of the obscene motion. my favorite bit of the full informercial is them going to a gym and having people do regular ab exercises and complaining that the regular exercises don't support their neck and that their arms and backs hurt and waaaaahhh. hello, what supports you during those exercises is your core, stupid. you can't convince me a guy with massively defined abs can't handle hanging ab raises. hell i can do massive numbers of pike ups (ok 50) and i don't whine.

but like any commercial they have to define the problem before they can swoop in and fake solve it. i just love the butt wagging. that's what life is all about. if you want to see the full one, go to abcirclepro.com. no i'm not making that a link. you'll have to copy and paste it yourself. i don't want to be fully responsible for your brain numbing. just partially.

ironic stupidity

whoever bought military recruitment ad spots during tonight's broadcast of wargames has missed the point of that movie.

diesel sneaker fetish ad

i'm still not buying anything from them, but fuck this is nice. most ironic is that the one playing the john still got paid for this.