ultranow

the shake weight for men

this is absolutely real. as in real product. and real real real real real gay metrosexual obnoxious ridiculous and most likely injury producing. as an alternative, i would suggest perusing the fine links in my right sidebar. i believe youlovejack, seancody and the rest present equally inspiring exercise opportunities.

p.s. they really shoulda bothered with a before and after here. i wanted to see bear meat jiggle.

dude you're dead shut the fuck up already

tackiest gay pride liquor display ever

tackiness checklist:

• garish colors - yes
• spinning - yes
• customized text of local gay neighborhood to improve connection to target audience - yes
• part of display (poster) blocking other part o display (pride means) - yes
• extra absolut mini-posters stuck to larger poster - yes
• product, despite color motif, isn't gay yet is pretending to be gay - yes
• misspelling (um, it's absolute, duh) - yes
• manages to be tackier than guitar on top shelf in background - yes
• i'm not visible in the mirror behind it because it's such a huge display - yes
• it never existed and was entirely a group hallucination - yes

the perfect buttfuck exercise machine

yeah there's an english version of this and a full horrible informercial. below is just a clip. but this gets the gist of the obscene motion. my favorite bit of the full informercial is them going to a gym and having people do regular ab exercises and complaining that the regular exercises don't support their neck and that their arms and backs hurt and waaaaahhh. hello, what supports you during those exercises is your core, stupid. you can't convince me a guy with massively defined abs can't handle hanging ab raises. hell i can do massive numbers of pike ups (ok 50) and i don't whine.

but like any commercial they have to define the problem before they can swoop in and fake solve it. i just love the butt wagging. that's what life is all about. if you want to see the full one, go to abcirclepro.com. no i'm not making that a link. you'll have to copy and paste it yourself. i don't want to be fully responsible for your brain numbing. just partially.

ironic stupidity

whoever bought military recruitment ad spots during tonight's broadcast of wargames has missed the point of that movie.

diesel sneaker fetish ad

i'm still not buying anything from them, but fuck this is nice. most ironic is that the one playing the john still got paid for this.

what will the graffiti on the outside of the glass mean when the poster on the inside changes?

dueling gay colognes

they both lose. the winner is jon-erik hexum sweat.

gay punkt

so i'm watching a 1997 gymnastics video on youtube, which includes the men's pommel horse and therefore lots of lanky guys in white slimfit sweats. it happens to be the german coverage and a gay phone sex commercial pops up in the middle. since opportunities for going professional in the world of gymnastics are limited, there's a possibility the models were ex-gymnasts needing to pay the rent. now why doesn't this happen on espn? it's only during sex and the city reruns i ever see ads like this, and those guys don't even have their shirts off. i'm so not angry at germany anymore.

p.s. why do they both need phones if they're in the room with each other?

rihanna covergirl display irony

eye makeup for a domestic violence survivor? bed, bath & beyond where i shot this should consider how inappropriate this display is. oh fuck it, she needs to get paid and move some product. the bigger irony is she doesn't need makeup to look beautiful. or probably not. or the biggest irony is i was taking pictures at bed, bath & beyond when i should have been cruising for a husband in the pillow department.