painstakingly titillatingly constructed by yours truly, a fact which should not lead to the assumption that i possess such a fetish. yeah, right! the thing is being nude except for basically socks makes a guy look even more nude overall. it just does. plus there's the whole 1980s international male catalog thing. personally i'm into the look only. i'm not into socksucking, though what a great word it is! 114.861 screen inches of fun after the jump.
then today's your lucky day! after the nsfw jump.
do i have one? no.
do i want to look at as many as possible? yes. and so do you. more after the jump.
wherein the non-feet parts of the body are essentially invisible. what's next? shadow on shadow action?
after the gay porno-faced businessman jump.
Continue reading "after a hard day of work at the gay porno-faced businessman factory" »
guess this would qualify as an ultranow visual mashup. now give me a dollar.
after the almost sfw but nsfw jump.
two more after the jump.
after the leaky jump.
update: i did my best to match stuffed animal with fictional identity, but i messed it up. see comment. p.s. is that a desk in his closet?
it's also vintage bedsheets porn and vintage wood paneling porn and vintage lighting porn and vintage haircut porn. and it's cute. after the, ahem, jump.
find out after the nsfw jump.
Continue reading "his pop art tie is telling me to look somewhere but where?" »
this ultranow public service is brought to you by the letters suck and fuck and the number moan. drrrty test pics after the jump. previous editions: fetish test and fetish test redux.
entrancement meter
1-2 seconds = nope
3-5 seconds = maybe you're into this
6-10 seconds = you want this
11-infinity seconds = you need this
i strongly advise against viewing the picture after the jump. simply do not. despite an exceptional amount of beige tones, it is neither conservative nor comforting.
the jewissitude, the smart suits, the going to gay pride parades to suck up to constituents, the potentially cock embracing lips, the power, the verbiage, the a salt with a deadly pepa hair, the holding up his hands to show us the size of his fuckstick in the middle of this obsessive collage i just made, rahm emanuel (democratic congressmanmeat of illinois) is my severe crush fetish lover. just don't tell his wife and three kids. though what are they going to do to me if they find out? it's shabbat and they're orthodox so they have to rest. can't even take a taxi to the airport to come kick my ass. rahm. seriously. call me. the phone will be in my ass saving a spot for you, so i might not pick up for a bit. just let it ring. our special secret ring. the one that sounds like love.
don't recline upon schizophrenic couches - schizophrenic people yes, couches no.
68 is 1 shy of 69, even if it's a rainbow 68, and what the hell is the fashion significance of a rainbow 68? please don't tell me it's for some tragic "if i add one we can have 69" opening line at the gay sock hop carwash rodeo.
french blue banana hammocks are so never.
powder your nose.
stop praying.
this incidence of bad pornography is the best thing you'll ever do in your whole life. be proud.
anyone with a david hyde pierce fetish, it's your moment! [insert collective sound of hundreds of people clicking elsewhere - hopefully elsewhere in this blog] pictured here sandwiched between the lane twins is one thing, but after the jump is an amateur shot that while of course is not the very private lifed dhp, nonetheless gives me more than a hit of dhp-ness, for better or worse. i say better.
squeaky new leathers, intensely feathered and hot oil treated hair, and a wannabe heartthrob stare. it's chachi meets chippendales. you may as well spread your legs now.
so i was wearing my blue black pea coat and plush tan pants carrying no food and i saw a guy wearing a tan pea coat and plush blue black pants carrying food and i wanted to say "look look we're reverse twins! sartorial 69 connected! call me!" however since much of my past life as in before now consisted of not doing things i thought of doing, i didn't do anything. but i swear after my blog rant yesterday i realize that i need most of all to have fun and a requirement of fun is being in the world and doing some things and anything and most things, not simply observing the world, no matter how queer or jewish or semi-clever or sexual my observations may be (and will continue to be). so i pledge dear readers to have more fun and share my fun or weirdness or penis or other people's weirdness or fun or penises and such for all our pleasure and distraction.
as mentioned in the first edition of fetish test, a follow up has indeed proven necessary.
entrancement meter
1-2 seconds = nope
3-5 seconds = maybe you're into this
6-10 seconds = you want this
11-infinity seconds = you need this
jocks or hugging or corporate sponsorships
mcmo?
pocket pinball mo?
to mo or not to mo mo?
mmmmmmmmmo?
brand new shiny mo?
someone please photoshop a prom or wedding behind these guys and e-mail the pic to me because it is hard to fill in a porn script in my head when they are posing in a sears photo studio. i'd prefer to imagine miss pass out drunk drank too much at his senior prom and needs to be driven home by his best buddy and be undressed before being put in bed otherwise the rented suit would wrinkle and when his friend sees him passed out naked (still with his dress shoes on because that would be hot) red light action ensues. without a more natural background, i am forced to assume that in order to pay for their senior proms in real life, they posed like this for $1.98 each for a sears photo studio pornographer after hours.
cheers to ebulges.com for posting a million more ebay bulges, so i don't need to fill in the gap and search for myself again. though i realized i enjoy searching and sharing the spoils. so here's another one. this may be on ebulges too. i didn't have time to look through their entire new crop of pics. i believe i will continue to enjoy spotting the ebay bulge in it's natural habitat, the cold cruel world of sex motivated commerce.
entrancement meter*
1-2 seconds = nope
3-5 seconds = maybe you're into this
6-10 seconds = you want this
11-infinity seconds = you need this
*because each picture may represent multiple fetishes, additional testing in future blog entries may be necessary.
feet or flexibility or speedos
robert fuller as the caring baritone dr. kelly brackett on "emergency"
yes to dr. no as dr. no in "dr. no"
gregory harrison as dr. george "gonzo" gates in "trapper john, m.d."
harrison in 1981 as male stripper with a heart of gold john phillips in "for ladies only"
and in a full circle moment (oprah's new catchphrase) wayne rogers' overflowing crotch as the original trapper john's crotch
what do ken olin, al parker, simon mccorkindale, paul newman and jon-erik hexum have in common?
1. when i was 17 i stole a book on australian lifeguards from the mall which included this exact shot.
2. i've appeared on public access tv as "hotpants jesus".
3. i picked up a huge dicked homeless appearing guy in the park near my apartment and brought him back to my place where he sucked me off while jacking his massive uncut dong.
4. i met mr. rogers when i was five.
can you spot the lie?
while i'd prefer this picture be of a dentist pervert versus a doctor pervert (there are unfortunately no dentists who have you take your shirt off), it still proves that i'm not the only one on the planet to desire a good rubber glove clad fingers in mouth probe. when my cheerful blonde male dentist gives me the rubber glove under the tongue test i am thrilled. which proves that a thrill is a thrill even if it lasts just 4.5 seconds. the wedding ring and unnecessary chin stabilization are thoughtful details. good porn should provide 4.5 seconds of thrill then make you want to see more porn.
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