where's my mall when i was a kid? i know it's physically still there. in the suburbs of hell where there's no burb just sub. but as a state of mind it is gone except when it rains for days and i am alone. where's my driving to the mall on saturdays and stealing a playgirl? where's my driving to the shopping center across from the mall on saturdays and buying a $6.99 sisters of mercy album? bringing an apple and that's it to eat for hours. wondering if i should go to the sears bathroom where all these men had been busted for homosexuality including a teacher from a neighboring school system. finally going in and it was so white and empty. where's my being so stupid as to not realize that nobody ever goes back to the johns that have been raided? cruising territory in the suburbs in the '80s was pointless because i had nothing to give.
the great philosopher roseanne said the fastest way to a man's heart is through his chest. i say the fastest way into my pants is through my mind and spirit. getting inside my pants is not literal and with the guy i kissed so hard it was my wish that he wanted more than sex. if i kissed hard enough and open enough he would touch my spirit and mind and know that he had and would ask me out on an old fashioned '80s date to the mall. let's go to the mall and go back in time more to the '70s mall for our second date. let's go back in time to kathy johnson's with the delicious vanilla milkshakes in metal. with the rock candy i stared out but never ate. with the 45 rpm records of barry manilow, queen, stevie wonder, anne murray, aretha franklin, foreigner, donna summer, anyone real. the store called pie place which sold pie and had rounded brown and orange '70s geometry counters and walls. the men with long hair in ponytails. the click clack credit card sliding machine. the brand new orange vw vans. the future.