oh did i forget to mention i was taking a blog-cation? for, um, a week and three days? well i did and i'm back. so much has changed. i missed the whole rosie o'donnell sex tape thing, the whole spaceship crashing into the white house thing, and the whole "man killed by rainbow" viral video that's everywhere, like a virus of some sort.
blame it on a new netflix membership. suffer, local neighborhood video store small business! that and not having anything to say for a bit.
so i found an oprah magazine abandoned in public. i asked the closest person if it was hers and she said no so i grabbed it and proclaimed to her: "it's a sign. there is something in this magazine that will change my life!" i've scoured the pages (scoured means skimmed, right?) and i believe i've found it.
between the article "the miracle worker" on sjp's admirable cheapo multi-sizo bitten line, and queen latifah opining "like any girl whose body is changing, i felt unsure of who i was becoming." (uh, you're becoming queen latifah...duh!) between those pages was why i found the magazine, or more precisely, why it found me. and i quote:
"now mcdonald's puts nutritional information on many [not all] of their products. so i don't have to wonder [but could still worry] about the quality and nutrition my kids are getting at mcdonald's. foods like chicken mcnuggets made with [not "of"] white meat, fresh crunchy apple dippers [dipped in what?] and calcium-rich low fat milk [full of bovine growth hormone]. compared to a lot of the foods my kids love at home [like captain crunch and legos?], mcdonald's is a great [cheap] choice. i guess that's why it's called a happy meal."
why is this a sign? because i know for a fact that i can see through spin a mile away, which means i'm pretty darn unfoolable by some man again, which means i'm ready to date again. thanks, oprah!