ultranow

theoretically, ex-playgirl star and current stuntman steve rally posted a comment here

on the post steve rally in gay porn?, i just got a comment purporting to be from steve rally himself. apparently he can't read the question mark and doesn't dig any association between himself and gay porn. understandable on both counts. though if he cared so much about not experiencing the gay gaze, perhaps he shouldn't have modeled in playgirl in the first place or done the workout video hunkercise (which i have on vhs):

steve rally in gay porn?

a curious and friendly visitor e-mailed:

"I just came across your site - it being the first site that shows when searching Steve Rally and Playgirl.  Like you, I was mesmerized by him in the throes of gay puberty.  I'd be thrilled to know what he's up to these days.  He just stunning.  Now, at the risk of blowing your mind, I have a question.  Ever heard of him doing gay porn?  If so, do you have any idea the name of the video(s)?  The reason I ask is below."

he attached the picture that's after the jump.  now while i'm certain the confusion can be attributed to a combination of the '80s clonelike playgirl hunk mustache look that permeated gay and gay for pay society and my visitor's desire for it to be true, it's worth contemplating.  if only to see a rare (possibly unique) instance of an insertion pic on my blog.

i will make the world dizzy with numbers

this is my (holy shit) 564th post.  the whole ultranow thing has had 812,821 hits to this moment.  i'm currently #1 in google for "steve rally", higher than his imdb and wikipedia listings, which is meaningless except that i hope he googles himself and finds me and wants me.  it could happen, right after a high powered editor searching for just the right freelance writer who can write the right things with words he writes asks me to freelance write a writing assignment for money, fame, personal satisfaction, and money and fame.  back to numbers.

a google image search of the keyword "ultranow" (with safe search clicked off) reveals i am the #1 gayest human on the planet.  try it.  and i'm the only person in the world to have a crush on a starbucks barista.  okay, that last one isn't true.  i'm likely not even the only one to have a crush on the particular starbucks barista i'm talking about.  after all, he does look like a young, blond anderson cooper.  how does he keep his hands off himself long enough to make a living?  gasp...maybe he doesn't!  by the way, i only go to starbucks when i'm desperate for sustenance.  exactly.

steve rally in the 21st century

steve rally will always have a special place in my heart (due to being playgirl man of the year while i was in the throes of gay puberty) and a special place in my pocketbook (if he ever has a bodyworker ad in my local gay paper).  now thanks to in the know reader jerry of la grande bête noire, i can now complete the steve rally trifecta:  high school yearbook photos, playgirl prime photos, and current resume photos.  his resume has words too, but we all know words don't really matter when it comes to steve rally.  just know that next time you're watching a stunt show at a theme park and some strapping, vaguely familiar man comes bounding in on horseback then does a round off back handspring into a trough full of slop for comedic effect, it's probably steve rally earning scale.  so ramp up your applause and tip til it hurts.  the man has given us so much.

steve rally high school yearbook photos - no, really

so you won't find breaking lindsay lohan news here ever, such as "lindsay lohan has never existed!", but you will find a collection of high school yearbook photos of one mr. steve rally.  a kind, generous reader sent them to me and he shall remain anonymous except for the key facts that he went to high school with steve and he saw my post best playgirl man of the year evah.

according to my source, in high school steve was rather scrawny yet was still somewhat of a jock.  he was on both the wrestling and football teams, and was a good enough punter to get a college scholarship.  he went on to try out with several nfl teams but didn't make it.  he was also a ladies man at a time when the phrase ladies man was everything a teen boy wanted to be.  he graduated in 1975, making him about 28 when he was playgirl man of the year.  a good 28.  a strong 28.  a beneficent and droolworthy 28.  currently he's pushing 50 and works for a major corporation that starts with a "d" and ends with a "y" and isn't days inn.  if a playgirl staffer is reading this, please give him a ring.  i have the feeling he'd drop trou and show hard if you gave him a couple of those 2007 cadillac escalades.  more cute as pie steve rally yearbook pics after the jump.

best playgirl man of the year evah

steve rally was the man of 1985, with hair that on anyone else might be unfortunate (just a few tight curls away from a bad home perm) but on him screamed virility, with muscles that were among the top 10% of nude playgirl models in the me decade, with eyes that pulled and teased and commanded, with an ass that pulled and teased and commanded, with the best sack in the business, and with "playgirl man of the year 1985" permanently tattooed on his resumé and on my heart. he's 45 or 46 now and i'm certain doing something equally as important as nude modeling. perhaps brain surgery. super sexy intense orgasmic muscular well lit intimate brain surgery.