good paying job, solid credit, pennypincher (i.e. jewish - hey go with the stereotypes that work), long thick polish sausage (i.e. part polish - hey go with the stereotypes that work), but can't afford a condo. and i hate that i can't afford a condo, which is ridiculous to get so worked up over because there are people on charity commercials who don't have floors. there are people who say things like we wish to inform you that tomorrow we will be killed with our families and i'm kvetching over a condo or lack of condo. but still kvetching is my right or privilege or lifestyle so whatever.
i would need scratch ticket size lottery winnings to even get close to affording something decent, unless the supposed bubble that is the seattle housing market bursts. and since everyone is saying it won't, then the only answer is for me to make it burst. what can i do to lower the property values of every condo in seattle?
- move in next to everybody and put a car up on cinderblocks on my multiple urban lawns
- pink mediciny tasting housepaint
- maneating sunflowers
- no zoning limits on red light establishments (bonus easy commute to work for me! just kidding, i.e. jk)
- add the name gay to the end of every school (benjamin franklin gay elementary school, ronald reagan gay junior high, reba mcentire gay vocational school)
- lobby to get a blade of grass recognized as life, thereby making it illegal to kill/mow it
- get all child rapists convicted and forced to register as sex offenders because if all the child rapists were registered there would be some on almost every block, which would tend to lower property values quite efficiently.
- encourage massive inflation through panic stricken blog posts so no one can afford anything. think pre-wwii germany with the wheelbarrows of bills just to buy a loaf of bread.
or what i'll really do which is rent forever and get a roth ira. suze orman would be satisfied and this way when i meet a rich guy with a house i can move right into the cage in his living room with no hassles due to a beautiful condo i'd have to sell.
or maybe just maybe the bubble will burst on its own. burst real hard. burst bubble burst bubble. c'mon burst! everyone saying "princess di" over and over made it happen back in '97 so burst bubble burst bubble burst princess di bubble burst now.
You do seem edgier these days. Is this the reason?
Posted by: gunn | May 07, 2006 at 05:21 PM