hey, say i'm the owner of an online german sex accessory emporium - lube and vibes and this confusing "oral trainer". why what would i call my website? something slightly classy yet fully derivative of monopoly and pirates like "pleasure chest"? or something painfully reverse punnish like "toys in babeland"? or how about something in reference to groups of jewish women used as sex slaves in nazi concentration camps, which was later a name assumed by some modrockers who while not totally anti-semitic were really pushing it with that name. yeah that's perfect. i'd name my site joy division.de! i imagine it came down to this or hogansdildos.de, which they didn't go with because of bob crane's gruesome death, which makes me want to know - what is the sound of one pervert dying? and what the hell is an oral trainer? does it block everything but the clit? cause if that's the case i was born with one on and it can go now.
I just couldn't resist finding out what this OralTrainer was, so I translated the information from the website!
GERMAN:
"Das Trainingstool für eine ausdauernde Zunge.
Der Original JOYDIVISION OralTrainer wurde in Zusammenarbeit mit Ärzten speziell zur Leistungssteigerung der Zunge entwickelt.
Durch gezielte Trainingseinheiten können Sie Ihre Zungenmuskulatur wirkungsvoll mit nur 5 Minuten Training pro Tag deutlich steigern.
Individuell jedem Gebiss anpassbar.
Geprüftes Medizinprodukt.
Diskreter Tragekomfort.
Hohe Lebensdauer.
Ihr Partner wird es Ihnen danken!"
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ENGLISH:
"The training tool for a persevering tongue.
The Original JOYDIVISION OralTrainer was made in cooperation with special doctors to develop and increase performance in the tongue.
Through targeted training sessions you can noticeably increase toungue muscularity/efficiency by just training just 5 minutes each day.
Customizable for any individual.
Examined Medical Device.
Discreet Wearing comfort.
High Durability.
Your Partner will thank you for it!"
So it doesn't really give directions, but from the big close-up shot of the product, It's apparent that it's pretty much just a plastic mouthgaurd just like football players wear. You clamp it between your teeth and just play with the three tabs inside for 5 minutes each day with your tongue...
I think that the most disturbing thing might be the "discreet wearing comfort" part.
Posted by: | May 07, 2006 at 05:01 PM
Well, it's better than a scat porno that the Deutsch are famous for ;)
Posted by: jon | May 07, 2006 at 05:02 PM