ultranow

speaking of

can i borrow $10,000? cause i really want to buy picard's pants. 

speaking of picard's pants, here's a ytmnd pulled from that next generation episode where picard's dna reverts to pubescent.  pubescent is a horrible word.  more horrible than oprahescent, yet not quite as horrible as schwartzeneggerescent.

speaking of oprah, i saw the legends ball behind the scenes special, or a quarter of it, cause i love that christine show with julia louis-dryfus, plus there's only so much gayle king oprah winfrey lesbian tension my tv set can take.  and  can someone explain to me why mariah carey, who is worth at least a quarter billion, would get excited over the gift of diamond earrings?  unless she was happy she didn't have to buy a present for her podiatrist anymore.

speaking of lesbian tension, last night i was trapped on a bus right after the seattle storm game let out.  seattle storm = wnba = lesbians = one damn loud bus full of women with short hair scowling at me because i have a shaved head and they were jealous and hateful because they can't shave their heads like they want because they'd get fired from their jobs as investment bankers.  this is not a cheap shot.  this is true.

speaking of cheap shots, my friend's boyfriend said that you can always tell it's seattle storm season when all the hot dog stands outside of key arena disappear, cause of you know the whole phallic thing.  he says they should be replaced with taco stands, which is the cheap negative beyond cheap shot.  so i says to him i says, no they should replace them with stands selling letter v jell-o molds.  nothing misogynistic about jell-o.

speaking of letter v jell-o molds, i just know bill cosby is eating pussy right now.  he's wearing a sweater and eating pussy while that tacky yet somehow not campy old navy madras commercial is blaring.

speaking of commercials sparkle, glitter, twinkle, shimmer and if you don't infomercial hostess kathy mitchell will slit your throat while you sleep.

super what?

"we're j.j. fad and we're here to rock.
rhymes like ours can never be stopped."

never be stopped that is until a slide into obscurity after that one hit and then a break up that has lasted forever.  but what a hit!  there can be no word to describe the magnificent eminence and bouncy perpetual party jam nature of this stupefying number, no word other than supersonic [expired].  that's right.  thank you forever mc j.b., baby-d and sassy c, aka just jammin' fresh and def, aka j.j. fad.  though perhaps there is a hard learned lesson here about putting fad in your name while seeking more than one hit.  oh screw lessons, i just want to pop and lock.

the softcore video stylings of father son duo kaike and mateus carrieri

i've been textually lusting after kaike and mateus carrieri since back in the day, that is since october 30, 2005.  now here's a g online video of the two in action, if action means lolling about naked near each other and then immediately sprouting an erection when the only one in the frame, which makes the incest taboo a third character in the video, a mildly unwelcome third character.

video | more pics

black speedo + tempting sac + he-gams + pointed toes + sex chin = jason statham

will & grace dies and i felt nothing

the will & grace season finale rested on top of me like a giant paper napkin with birthday cake smooshed all into it.  i didn't laugh and i felt dead because i didn't laugh.  i felt nothing but dead.   dead and a slight appreciation for the fortunate and atypical lack of excrutiating gay puns.  i don't want to hunger for images of my life on a screen.  i want to live my life.  will is gay.  grace is jewish.  and i'm both.  jack is a slut.  karen is a drunk.  and i'm neither.

when a tv show ends it's the beginning of that show.  it's premier night.  the hype has happened and i am trapped for years.  then it ends when it says it ends and syndication confuses matters.  better gay moments on tv than will & grace:

fame fame fame dammit

"fame costs and right here's where you start paying.  in sweat [and however much for the fame season 1 dvd that she knows who is buying me for my b-day]".  loved this show and the movie, but the show was in my house every week.  coco, doris, leroy, bruno, danny, julie, miss grant, mr. shorofsky.  did i mention doris?  cause i loved doris...and coco...and leroy...and...well you get it. obsessed. because i didn't dance or sing when others could see or hear.  but i did both all the time because so often no one could see or hear me because it was safer to live that way.

fame meant 20somethings playing teen kids so talented they were bursting with life and dreams but also the kid next to them was maybe a little more talented so the role might go to them instead of you so even with big talent there are big disappointments.  and still fun.  still spontaneous numbers in the cafeteria and on the street.  still everyday life at the high school of the performing arts.  and drama that worked.  actors playing characters that were a million times more real than anything american idol spits out weekly.

this show was must see tv on thursdays before cosby.  nbc gave up on it, but it thrived in syndication because it was so popular in europe the demand for new shows was intense.  fans here wouldn't let it go either.  personally i'm all about the first 2 seasons, maybe up through season 3 because doris left after that and coco was already long gone and if you don't know what i'm talking about that's okay because just pretend you know that in 1982 variety shows were kinda dead on tv, unlike the '70s where they had thrived ("sonny & cher", "sonny", "cher", "sonny & sonny", "cher & cher", "cher & a talking chimp").  variety was dead and fame the tv show came along and was a natural musical where songs and dancing happened because these were kids learning to sing and dance.  where acting happened because these were kids learning to feel and breathe and move and push.

that's enough from me on this, though i bet i blog on it again because it's fame and i've shut up about it for years and now i don't ever want to because it mattered so damn much. fameforever.com is the technical authority.  i hope they don't hate me but i took 3 of their streaming .rams and mystically converted them to .ra so you can download them from me vs having to stream.  if some powergeek out there wants to e-mail me how to convert .ra to .mp3 free on a mac, i'll do it, but until then dust off realplayer and love these up.

life is a celebration
desdemona
hi-fidelity

derrick davenport is the derrick davenportest derrick davenport that ever derrick davenported

while he's no steve rally, derrick davenport, just named playgirl man of the year for 2006, acquits himself nicely, by which i mean i can't tell what his sexual orientation is but i'm certain of two things:  that he has body dysmorphic disorder which means he doesn't see what we see so he thinks he's out of shape and therefore needs to work out constantly (and it shows), and that he wants me, or at least has the expression of wanting me, or if not me, then money, or if not money, then fame - for someone, something, be it a camera, a cloud, or a random fag, to see him, to really really see him.  more derrick after the jump and then even more after the jump after the jump.  you'll see.  and that's what he wants.

5 post title options

• benetton ad knockoff makes readers of men's health uk edition pause momentarily.
• proper british consumerism vs the gauche chinese military/government complex.
• what do you get for the tank who has everything?
• is this man asian and is he dead now and did he get paid?
• oliver sweeney is an asshole.

review: red hot + blue

i was first in line for the original red hot + blue cd back in 1990, tied with a million others.  all of us made it a billboard chart presence for over 5 months.  i actually got it on cassette because that's all i could afford, but it still helped, since it was and is a charity affair.  i'm glad this dvd/cd package is here because if you're like me, you may have only heard these songs, and caught maybe one or two of the videos at best.  but when you've got top performers of the time (including a few who are still tops) putting their own spins on cole porter's classic melodies, you need to see it too.  see it hear it feel it.

i've been volunteering or working in hiv prevention since '89, except actually for the last two years in which i've had a career change.  watching this again i remember why i got involved, besides fighting for the life of my own community and by extension myself, and i don't mean jewish community, because i barely know any jews, i just lust after them.  i mean gay community, but that's not fully the point because as red hot + blue, with its healthy doses of hip hop and world music educates - it's about people with multiple identities being affected.  hiv feeds on ignorance, on healthcare disparities, on homophobia, on racism, on sexism, on classism, on low self-esteem, on disconnections.  aids activism is about justice.  it still is.  it will be for as long as it takes.  red hot + blue is about connection through music.  and i'm going to get involved again in hiv prevention, or a related cause which focuses on healthcare disparities.  period.  i'm watching the dvd right now and would like to share a few simple facts:

• neneh cherry is the ultimate.
• k.d. lang is hellzadamnsexyfine and that doesn't confuse my kinsey 6ness in any manner whatsoever.
• jody watley is smooth and fine (remember how she got her start as a soul train dancer? now that was competitive.)
• lisa stansfield never got her due in the u.s.  she's linda evangelista, but with a voice and a personality.
• visual icon makers barbara kruger, keith haring and gran fury all mattered and still matter.
• u2, who seemed out of place on the album originally, clearly were sincere in their caring as evidenced by bono's work today.  they were not posers.  though i still don't like bono's hair.
• jimmy sommerville is a fierce ruling diva.
• annie lennox can work it live (as shown in the bonus performance from a vh1 special).

so retro '90s is where it's at, especially if it means music that cares. and images that matter.

sample vid: well, did you evah - debbie harry & iggy pop

buy it (proceeds to the red hot organization)

oh no he di'int!

uncensored cover (minus star of david cookie cutter) after the jump