how is it not all about modern times by j-five feat. charlie chaplin (rove dogs remix) [expired] right now? it's the only thing i can listen to at the moment, mostly because of the line "people have to yell nowadays to get heard" which was really creepy to hear while i found out about the shooting yesterday. when someone tells me to "get up and get down move to the music" i really want to but i can't always comply. the last time i got down to the music i couldn't get up after.
i used to dance. on speakers even. shirtless. yet not in a circuit boy way because i could never pass for that. i danced because it was what to do. i went to the gym because it was what to do. i'm not a puppet anymore though. i think about why i do what i do. and if it's for me or someone else. i thought working out was for me and i'm trying to pick up my workouts lately. to actually build momentum enough to have a bodyshaping impact. and i hit a wall.
i started thinking well i'm not dating anyone now anyway so what's the point? as in my body is for other people not me. so that's what i thought years ago too when i was working out everyday which is disturbing. it was never for me. and now i want it to be. i want that to be enough reason to be strong and healthy. i have some momentum now and i'm going to do my best to keep going.
i just hope i don't go the opposite and when i do have a boyfriend say to myself well fuckit i have a man i can let myself go. because that will just be the whole angelina jolie phenomenon. ever since brad, she's just collagen, a mop and oranges. i never want to let myself go to that level.
http://www.myspace.com/johnnyfivemusic
http://www.myspace.com/dustywhite (the rock band of j-five)
Posted by: me | December 25, 2006 at 06:32 AM