i nearly recorded the most obnoxious cell conversation i've ever been forced to overhear on the bus. it powered it's way through my headphones, right over morningwood's jetsetter and hudson's and i am telling you, because i can only turn up my mp3 player's volume so loud. i recalled my player had a mic for recording, you know so i can record art history lectures while i party in the quad with my gay gang. now since i don't go to college anymore, this feature is très irrelevant, until that conversation was behind me and terrifying me and i wanted some proof of it.
but since recording it and posting it here would be unethical, i'll just have to highlight the most horrifying bits:
- 15 year old gay pipsqueak who uses the word like literally every third word. my 7th grade english teacher would have shat.
- crowded rush hour bus and he's sitting directly behind me and talking twice as loud and twice as fast as any other cell conversation i've ever heard on the bus.
- he talks extensively about his friend with the last name nordstrom (as in the store). alexis nordstrom or allison nordstrom i think it was. guess what, she's popular!
- he's frustrated with the lack of service when he goes to barneys new york. don't they know he is rich?!
- he's cancelling his burberry card because they are also rude to him [which makes no sense because i don't find any reference to a burberry credit card on burberry.com, just a gift card, and why would you cancel a gift card when that's basically throwing away money? oh right, he probably throws money away for fun.]
- he won't let the person on the other end, if there even is a person on the other end, talk one bit.
- he doesn't reduce his volume even after i spin around and gift him with a glare.
- the bus takes forever to get me home because seattle has poor regional planning
after i finally escaped the bus, passing a couple of guys who were about to get on, i pointed at where i had been sitting and firmly warned them not to sit there. the gay one of the two new passengers (i don't know how i could tell, i just could) expressed appreciation for my warning, understanding innately how being annoyed is not a desirable way to be. as the hapless heterosexual victim boarded the bus and likely made his way to the seat of horror, the new gay passenger said to me "annoying cell phone call?" i shout "no, annoying like cell phone call!" i was a good samaritan of annoyance defense.
You are a much better person than I am. Anyone talking that loudly in a public space forfeits all rights to privacy, as far as I'm concerned.
Posted by: Grouchbutt | January 28, 2007 at 01:32 PM