for once acknowledging the actual world of modeling and in an attempt to stem the failure of the soon to be winner, twiggy (doing tyra's bidding) asked the ladies to select new names for themselves because the business requires full throttle standing out action. just eliminating the wrong name won't catapult someone to stardom, but it will at least eliminate another obstacle. jael and jaslene wisely chose the self-confident route and maintained their monikers since they already stand out just fine. most memorably dionne went with hoolahay, which was later switched by tyra to brown. natasha chose nata. brittany chose brit. and always the role model, tyra chose jesus. names of some of the actual top models in the world (not just in "america") at least as ranked by models.com include stam, iselin, freja, doutzen and malgosia. oh, and jaslene. i'm hoping.
brandishing their names (some new) the ladies attended a smartwater product placement party and the other namedropped guests included 50 cent, paris and nicole, and that's about it. they were called in to see tyra colleague and business associate benny medina and some other camp tyra members and had to make an impression. jael and nata failed to make a positive one due to having been in the pool - in the middle of an evening cocktail party. jael was pushed by 50 because she wouldn't leave him alone over and over and over and nata jumped in after because she loves peer pressure. hoolahay (dionne) made the best impression according to mr. medina i'm pretty sure because she mentioned doing the show for her daughter and how much she missed her daughter. or son. some kid thing. all that mattered was she cried.
the shoot was to create a model card showcasing a variety of expressions, meaning it veered sharply into commercial modeling territory. the ladies were supposed to pick four aspects of their personalities (for some four was three more than they actually possess). how did they do? below are the cards even worth discussing, first those of my remaining two faves jaslene and natasha, then some of the rest. i've left off whitney (who was awful) and sarah (who was even worse and got kicked off).
jaslene best be careful about her adjectives, as the urban dictionary definition of modeleque is "being like a paid high fashion model in appearance and mannerisms, but amateurish, and more often than not, the subject themselves is the only one who thinks so". this was not jaslene's best week, though she suspiciously nailed "drag queen", creating a jon leguizamo in to wong foo feel. potential kiss of death - tyra said that jaslene looks like janice dickinson, which by the way she totally doesn't. tyra's just having vicious diva flashbacks. poor tyra.
natasha was smart enough to set the bar extremely low for herself. i would have liked one shot of the four where she wasn't touching her head/face/hair. "happy" is so covergirl it hurts.
perfect expressions, fully inhabiting the frame. i still hate her. and so does her weave. she finally complained because it's totally pulling on her real hair very badly, which if i were conspiratorially minded, i'd say the hair has been fine and brittany just fucked with it herself, then complained later so it seemed like it had been hurting her for a long time and she was so tough that she put up with it. oh and i hate brittany. she's the little red haired girl who wouldn't pay attention to charlie brown.
the guest judge i think it was said her "hood" pic looked like an angry housewife which miss jay said is the same thing. "sensitive" looks like she heard someone died who she knows but doesn't know that well and people are watching her reaction and she's deciding how much energy to put into crying which i suppose miss jay would say is the same thing as sensitive.
"pink 2001" "if i were a true anarchist, i'd be out of frame"
"i can make my bicep disappear" "$50 to pee on you"
"bitch" "bitch"
"bitch" "excedrin"
I really want Nata to win or even Jaslene...the one that i hate is Nene...i hope she goes off soon!
Posted by: Chanelle Lacroix | April 10, 2007 at 04:29 AM
OMG you are SO right about "nene". BITCH sums her up 100%. And that wouldnt be so bad if she were as screwy and "out there" as Jade...but so far, all I have seen is bland, backstabbing bitch. Go Nata!
Posted by: curt | April 15, 2007 at 06:31 AM
"the guest judge i think it was said her "hood" pic looked like an angry housewife which miss jay said is the same thing"
the guest judge, benny - was the one that said it was the same thing...I think Nigel made the comment...
Great blog!
Posted by: C | April 19, 2007 at 01:36 PM