this week's challenge was excrutiating, but what could be expected when it's an acting challenge led by tia mowry (or was it her twin sis tamara)? jaslene screeched later in confessional: "sister sister!" because that's what the mowry's are best known for. this confessional was immediately followed by the mowry emphasizing her current role in the cw sitcom the game, which would for sure be cancelled if it were held up to the rating standards of any other network. no tia/tamara, you will always be sister sister. renee won because she was the best, yet somehow still bad. whitney grimaced because she had felt she should own the acting competition. finally something i can win at, she'd said, meaning she'd given up on winning at actually modelling. the main shoot was so meta, involving dramas/models from previous cycles. i will judge this cycle's crop and the oldies. utter complete total full judgment of all available targets is my top priority.
the stupidest drama in antm history was the whole red bull/granola bar bs. bre was such a damn baby about it. and despite what the box says, granola bars are generally all sugar and fat, maybe yummy but not all that healthy. bre's makeup wears her. i've been over her since i first saw her. as for jaslene, the judges are intent on marking her as early favorite who's now in a dangerous downward slide. while she's not as immediately versatile as i'd initially hoped, i believe she deserves as much slack as those who start out horribly slow and then grow. each should be held to an equal standard every week and by that standard, i still believe jaslene shines. plus i'm sick of the whole drag queen label on her. though she did label herself that last week, it was in a positive way, not how the judges are saying it. what's any more drag about her than any of the other models? they are all makeup splattered blow up dolls with limited emotional range. oh, right, she's latina and sassy, so that equals drag queen apparently. well excuse her for being too feminine and having a cleft chin.
natasha nailed it. despite the theme, it was still supposed to be about the shoes and natasha served up her tootsies like a pro. michelle is still a no-neck monster, but now she's added lead dixie chick natalie maines lookalike to her limited modeling resume (she was on the janice dickinson modeling agency for an episode and didn't make the cut which is so tragic).
brittany got nothing but praise, both for her eye contact and her matching of the awkward body lines of amanda and michelle. the concept for her shoot was so damn simple though - triplets. tyra mercifully had brittany's painful weave removed. i'm hoping something else is soon attached to brittany's body which makes her suffer, perhaps a sisyphus beer hat where the crazy straws are just ever so slightly out of reach.
lesbionic kim came back to make dionne uncomfortable with her lesbionicness. dionne said she doesn't even kiss her boyfriend, which seems an extreme reaction to having been previously knocked up. praise was heaped on dionne for her going for it, though in this shot she seems totally uncomfortable and looks so damn draggy, but in a bad way. kim is damn hot, but not high fashion model. more lesbian sears catalog, which is redundant.
jael go home now. you can't faint right. faint is not sex. you are out of control and can't take direction. you can't even model the shoes well. who wants to see the damn soles? rebecca, who had fainted at panel because of a medical condition they are herein making fun of (like michelle's skin condition they had natasha mock) looks down on you literally and figuratively. now that whitney's gone, it's your turn to go go go go go.
i know renee is in this shot, but all i see is joanie. judges agreed and got in a dig about how while renee had needed to ugly it up (not resting on pretty) she shouldn't have gone this ugly. they also said in person she looks too old. i would add that she's fake, which is of course why she won the acting challenge, for which she (and dionne who she picked as her friend) got to see their kids/family. i bet her baby is an actor too. hopefully when they go overseas next episode they pick somewhere that bitch is illegal. at least she modelled the shoes well. i'd rather look at them than her. joanie is so hot. renee who.
sisyphus beer hat!!!!!!!!!!!!
LOL!
Posted by: hereticsaint | April 16, 2007 at 11:23 PM