go see week resolved the issue that has been paining me all cycle: why do i hate brittany? because she's a courtney love level high maintenance basketcase, just without the right hook. plus her walk is fucked. her elimination fate was sealed when the guest judge was the head of the australian modeling agency that sent them all out on the go sees, and most importantly enforced the 4:30pm deadline to be back at her agency. dionne and renee were back with plenty of time to spare, probably because half the fashion designers didn't want to be in the same room with them too long. jaslene made a good impression on all the designers and showed surprising and key, since it had been the judges biggest critique of her in the past, ver-sa-ti-li-ty. plus she made it back at 4:29pm, thankfully. natasha was a couple of minutes late and handled it gracefully, by which i mean leaving without a fuss and then saying to the camera that if she'd been on time she would have won, which was later revealed to not be true. brittany was several minutes late and seeing natasha by the entrance didn't even go in. But within earshot of the guest judge, right by her agency's front door, had a mega freakout, hurling her book to the ground, screaming how it was all her cabby's fault, though the clip showed it hadn't been, and just being a ridiculous crybaby in general, despite natasha's trying to get her to shut up. it was later revealed in judging that this was the first time in antm history that someone, in this case brittany, didn't book a single pretend job on the pretend go sees. way to go, brittany! home that is.
for what turned out to be a double fashion shoot, tyra was the photog and a mighty encouraging one at that - gentle yet firm, fun yet professional, talented yet untalented. at one point, tyra said "i have to peepee, mommie." guess the beach did not have a cabana with a loo, or whatever the aussie way is to say portable beach pisspot. tyra mainly does her photog schtick to get a sense of how the ladies are on set, but this cycle clearly had a goal to showcase her skills more. past cycles, tyra did quickie, low tech face shoes, not whole bodies with complex lighting. tyra clearly knows what she's doing behind the lens, else someone's really good at photoshop. the task was posing for both a men's mag (fhm, stuff, and um, hot rod mamas?) and a women's mag (vogue, cosmo, and um, playgirl?) showing the range it takes to make bucks. wish there had been a third shot, posing for a bored bus traveler mag (harper's, utne reader, mega sudoku challenge). so who did how?
jaslene kinda looks like her male model cohort and he kinda looks hot, so i guess she does too. did i mention i'm homosexual?
barbie's feet don't ever relax from high heel position either. i don't know why the women's mag shots are in black and white. possibly all women are colorblind?
if she doesn't win, it will take natasha about three seconds to book a job. if she does, five seconds. while i don't want her, i do want to be her, on her weekend off near a military base. that came out wrong. what i mean to say is i'd like to look like her for a weekend and be fucked by hundreds of military men. i hope that's clear now. oh, and i'd like to be on top some of the time.
anna nicole is lucky natasha wasn't around back in the '90s day to steal her guess! jeans gig. still sexy, which is not going to go away unless natasha gets really purposefully awkward in a shot, but the focus is on fashionable exhaustion not on titillation, so it works.
b is for the many ways i dislike you. rittany is for all the other ways i dislike you. bye.
you were really good as rogue in x-men, but you're not a model.
stiff and invulnerable. i. am. not. feeling. it.
pssst, dionne, there's a guy behind you. possibly you could interact with him in some way? just a widdle bit? you were really good at interacting during the go sees when you begged every designer to give you some of their clothes, which i'm shocked was not brought up in panel.
dammit, renee was good at this, and could be a threat to either jaslene's or natasha's victory. she even pushed out her butt in this shot, garnering praise from tyra in judging for knowing how to work her body. nothing like having a husband to make you be able to realistically portray desiring another man (besides the one you're stuck with for the rest of your life).
while i appreciate the generic artiness of this shot, isn't the pull my finger look more suited for a men's magazine? tyra liked how in this shot she arched her back, instead of sticking our her butt. tyra sure likes the weirdest things.
next episode, zsa-zsa jaslene, meany dionne, and grrr renee apparently gang up on natasha in some non-physical way, which becomes obvious to the judges, thereby guaranteeing natasha making it to final three because bad deeds shall not be rewarded in tyraland. so where's my ticket to tyraland? i need one real bad and i'll stomp on anyone to get it.
I'm so glad B-rit is gone. Whine whine whine whine whine.
Posted by: purpletwinkie | May 09, 2007 at 02:44 PM