so this little kid (i'd say boy but why does gender always have to be a subject?) was at the food co-op with his parent (i'd say mom but who knows who she was) and the produce person, oh fuck it, the produce guy gives the boy a banana but warns him it's partially cut so be careful not to let it fall. the mom type says he should balance it, eat it quick, all that jazz, and he tries to comply but half ends up on the floor. she swoops in immediately and tells him that it's not a tragedy and he still has half the banana left and life goes on.
i swoop in and scream at her that she's a liar and that the world really does come to an end when something falls or fails or is pulled away or made unavailable or destroyed or ruined, especially when it was just in your hand, and that she should be arrested for spreading such lies to youth as life goes on.
or actually while it occured to me to do so, i resisted my own swooping in with negativity, but did realize that nobody ever told me what she did when i was a kid or really much as an adult. when i first hear things that are unfamiliar, they seem inherently wrong and dangerous. like gay marriage must seem to idiots. i'm wrong and they are wrong. life does go on. but just to be sure, i brought a bunch of bananas home and ate one up without dropping a bit. life goes on that way too.
Hey man, you think that's crazy? . . . how's this for crazy?
So they took the relentlessly weird-bad-but-lovable film and made it a musical . . . that would be XANADU . . . and I went to see it on Broadway tonight . . . and it was sillier that the weird-bad-serious movie but still fun . . . and my Hebrew School principal who kicked me out of the 5th grade was there, and boy was he surprised I'm a rabbi . . . and what straight man is seeing f-ing Xanadu on B'way anyway? . . . and during the show I decided I was in lust with one of the dancer/singers . . . and against my better judgement, waited for him after the show at the urging of a friend . . . and met him, and asked him for his phone number . . . and he actually (!) gave it to me? (!) Hot what? (!!!)
I think that beats the banana thing by a shtetl mile . . . maybe I should start my own blog?
Posted by: Rabbi Mike | June 01, 2007 at 02:32 AM