big house on the prayer-ree
catholic church controlled prison that doesn't allow condoms (oh wait, neither does regular prison).
special sonny in 3d
the adventures of a man who poops pee and pees poop, inspired by the unauthorized biography of sonny bono.
nude parcheesi showdown
as hosted by bob saget, featuring human parcheesi pieces and the only person who knows how to play parcheesi.
the cbs evening news with katie couric
as hosted by bob saget and his sexy tongue.
ask svetlana
a call in show where desperate people are involuntarily transferred from suicide prevention hotlines to live television, where their last hope is russian gymnastics diva svetlana khorkina. her answer to everything: "be perfect or be nothing!" callers appreciate how she's more sensitive and understanding than dr. laura.
celebrity children's book author hour
ghostwriters toil in the depths of carbon paper writing bestsellers madonna and jamie lee curtis will take credit for.
simpson sister suicide
will ashlee or jessica go first? will ashlee fake out jessica in a fake suicide pact then leave jessica for dead but jessica's not really dead because the plastic bag over her head has holes? can i please stop flipping past e! and hear jessica say she thought her calling was christian music but then they told her her breasts were too big so then she had to go for the pop world?
judy garland resurrection
still desperate for judy sixty year old greenwich village queens fight it out over who gets to dig judy up out of her grave and give her belated gay mouth to mouth in the vain hope that rainbow breath will instill the value of life in her skinny skinny corpse. spoiler alert: judy's spoiled. spoiler alert 2: the winner/loser is gore vidal.
it's always puppies
crystal meth addict puppies put obscene amounts of sugar in their coffee when they're not high on crystal. watching puppies try to open sugar packets is pure family fun. spinoff: it's always barebacking puppies.
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