ultranow

what's he looking at in amazement and adoration?

he's looking at himself in amazement and adoration because he loves his body and i should love my own body and i do i do i do and you should love your own body and you do you do you do.  see what he loves after the jump.  see what you love in the mirror.

if you stare directly at this composition, you'll be as hypnotized as he is by himself

after the jump.  kaleidescope effect added by moi.  nsfw nudidididity and days at the gym added by him.

cute on a couch

more cute after the jump, and by cute i mean naked.

chris lake featuring laura v - changes

if i were a circuit boy, i would have heard this song a year ago, but i'm not so i love it now because i want changes so here.

it's all about the music, cause the video itself is one step up from those background videos during karaoke.  okay two steps above.  okay those videos are awesome.  can i be a circuit boy now?  at least for like half an hour, which is like an eternity.

the picture so dicknasty it has to be blocked by two speedo and leather jacket david hasselhoffs

david hasselhoff is gone after the jump. this is the best gig he's ever had.

naked armpit stud pretending to sleep

badly pretending, but that's because he wants you to wake him up.  after the nsfw jump.

blurry nerd abs

which is ironic because he's wearing glasses.  p.s. i heart him.

the miracle that is derek jackman's dickhead

if a mythical hugh jackman/derek jarman union had birthed a giant-dick-headed scruffy masturbating pervert, the result would surely be youlovejack’s derek jackman.  get all of derek and/or a visual explanation as to why you should after the nsfw jump.

xanadu broadway cast recording love/hate relationship

xanadu on broadway (original broadway cast recording) is exactly what it says it is, which is why i love it and hate it:

love

• the lead is the sweet and powerfully voiced kerry butler who was incredible as penny in hairspray (i saw her in hairspray's seattle pre-broadway run).
• the fantabulous quirkdiva jackie hoffman has plenty of stage time, doing double duty as calliope and aphrodite.
• there's a hunky guy in jean shorts (yeah i know you can't see him listening to the cd but there's some pictures in it and you can imagine).
• it does justice to the frothy disco classics i'm alive, magic and xanadu.
• the only thing gayer than roller skates on a broadway stage is a hunky guy in roller skates on a broadway stage which by the way this show has got.  and roller skates remind me of my skating at g.a.s. (great american skate) as a kid so i am swept away by the freedom of it all, until i remember leaning against the roller rink wall and watching better skaters whizz past so i tried to skate fancier which led me to fall down, which reminds me:

hate

• kerry occasionally affects a self-aware australian accent in mock tribute to olivia newton-john.  it's painful and not super funny.
• if you like disco lite classics like have you never been mellow?, then possibly you'll be okay with the slower parts of the cd.  personally when it comes to disco, the farther something is away from 128 beats a minute, the more i hate it.  and except for the three numbers i mention in my love section above, i, well, hate it.
• the guy in jean shorts is not andy gibb and while i know the guy in the movie wasn't andy gibb either, he looked like andy gibb and andy gibb would have been perfect for this show if he were still young and still alive but at least they should have picked some high-pitched disco voiced guy rather than a generic voiced studmuffin.
• strictly as far as the cd goes, the comedy is mostly lost.  whereas other comedic shows with key visual elements can still stand on their own as cd only.  for instance, bea arthur on broadway - just between friends was full force even on cd, though maybe that's because i had golden girls on in the background while listening and bea hadn't been on roller skates anyway.
• the success of this show encourages the theatrical production of other movies of the era, such as  zapped! the musical.  i don't want to see scott baio on broadway.

if you think you'll love it, or at least like it, get the xanadu cd. it's about 80% cheaper than seeing it on broadway and it will take forever before your local community theater performs it anyway.  it would take a lot of bake sales to pay for that many pairs of roller skates.

cyber as "hung jewish top" episode 5 - the phantom jew

after an over 2 year hiatus, "hung jewish top" is back!  catch up on  eps 1-4 if you will.  the identities of the innocent have been exposed, or at least as much as their cyberhandles expose them.  oh yeah, "hung jewish top" is me, i mean my """""character""""" that is.  p.s. are extra quotes super ironic?

Numb_Nuts> hi there
hung jewish top> u like cock?
Numb_Nuts> yes, I am so hungry for it right now
hung jewish top> just right now or always hungry for cock?
Numb_Nuts> when I am in the mood like now
hung jewish top> u evr had jew cock?
Numb_Nuts> I like someone who knows what they want from me
Numb_Nuts> no, baby
Numb_Nuts> you want to feed me some
hung jewish top> i want u to want jewcock and i ain't ur baby
hung jewish top> im ur man
Numb_Nuts> yes, man
hung jewish top> tell me how much u want my jew cock
Numb_Nuts> I want the come in your balls inside me
Numb_Nuts> I want to taste your hot jewish cock sliding in and out of me
filling me with your manhood
hung jewish top> u catholic?
Numb_Nuts> protestant
hung jewish top> my jewish cock will burn in ur protestant anus
hung jewish top> and my cum will hit the back of ur throat
Numb_Nuts> cupping your heavy sack in my hand and feeling what you have in there for me
hung jewish top> if u had to choose between a long and skinny cock or a thick and short one which would us choose?
hung jewish top> u choose
Numb_Nuts> thick and short
hung jewish top> actually the right answer was both
hung jewish top> thick and short for ur mouth and long and skinny for ur ass then switch
hung jewish top> jewish cock at both ends while u tear up and suck and get fucked
Numb_Nuts> would love to have you fucking me at both ends
hung jewish top> like two kosher pickles surrounding bi married unkosher slab of bi married desperate for cock guy
Numb_Nuts> yes, two jewish cock together would be bliss
hung jewish top> i hope ur nuts aren't actually numb and that u only call urself numbnuts because that's an insult from three stooges movies