remember the "oh my goodness" girl in annie? it was a rather unnecessary punctuation to a crisis situation. girl, we know it's "oh my goodness" time. you're an orphan in the depression, okay? so now it my unnecessary punctuation to a crisis situation. on the surface it's one of those faith in self right decision things. i reduced my hours at my job so i could focus on design school. add the fact that i do have talent (along with a million others) and it's not so crazy, right?
except i'm a sole supporter, if that's how you say that, of myself. add the fact that my self-discipline has to be completely on point to get the most benefit from this plan. nobody is telling me to study but me which is fine because i love my classes. for real. so maybe this post won't be 1000 words long. maybe the problem is there's no problem. except that i went for years not following my dreams. and that makes me sad. and determined.
i came to this town with nothing and nobody. moved six times in my first five months. my first priority was artistic integrity with little thought to security. gradually those priorities changed places. and it hurt. and now it's not exactly full circle because the reality is i want both. for the moment i have it. i'm frugal. i'm suze ormanified. i just talked my cable bill down $20/month without reducing my level of service. and when i first moved here that $20 was all i had to live on for a week. potatoes for breakfast, anyone?
at this moment, i'm taking a break from cleaning my apartment. spring cleaning yes, but it's bigger than that. i'm making a place to learn. i'm a student. on my own terms. finally. not some college-prep track in high school which didn't allow me to take art classes. not some mishmash liberal arts education where the way i lived in philadelphia got me more knowledge than most any of my classes, except your writing class dear departed amazing nora magid may you rest in peace with a marker in your hand to guide us all.
it's another chapter and i didn't think i could manage it. but going after my dreams seems a lot more sane to me than staying in a job which won't lead anywhere near them. security isn't only financial. there are second jobs to get if need be. and security isn't always top priority anyhow. all is well. i've chosen this path and it's the right one. i believe so.
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