today so far

slept in finally, which means 9:30.  field roast sausage and maple syrup.  vegetarian.  massive protein.  yum.  supplements as always.  beat the scrabulous robot.   just as my mind started racing about dating, work, school, money, chores, dating, work, school, money, chores i got on my bike with no destination in mind.  nothing going on but sunshine, wind, trees, sky, bus fumes and avoiding getting doored.  so it's not perfect but it was similar to the continuous present of dance music.  hills.  bumps.  glides.  rhythm.  legs pumping.  no watch.  no bike lock.  nowhere to stop.  no cell phone.  i can live like this always, even without the bike under me.  i don't need to know the future anymore.  i don't need to run from the past or hide in the past so deep i don't remember who i am.  i need to feel my heart pound.  i need to not know how it's all going to be and turn out.  i even need to not know how it was.  i need change and excitement.  i know excitement is not fear.  i know change is not death.  i can tell the difference now.  finally i can feel with no reinterpretation.