ultranow

proposed robocall script about mccain palin

so the republican national committee launched some new extra scumsucking robocalls yesterday trying to scare people into voting for mccain palin. obama is avoiding the robocall route - i expect because he is focusing on actual issues and because he has a mass number of actual human volunteers who are calling people and speaking from the heart. not that robots can't have hearts. hey brent spiner's data, call me!

but should obama or the democratic national committee decide to go all robocall, here's a proposed script designed to appeal to multiple demographics simultaneously:

"had a rough weekend dragging your kids to high school musical 3 and having to put up with their pre-adolescent screeches? sick of watching the view because it never expresses how you feel? grossed out by turkey necked ex-pows who are too macho to have ever gotten therapy for their post-traumatic stress? terrified of women who want gay people dead? and by gay people i mean probably your son. hey he liked high school musical 3, right? sick of the whole country looking racist and terrifying to a huge portion of the world which by the way is not a majority white world, hello?! into internet neutrality so you could log on just as fast to cnn.com as you could to cunnt.com? want your dollar to actually be able to buy something besides the ever shrinking in portion size dollar menu from some fast food behemoth? want to be interrupted by robocalls from sexy sexy democratic robots who wear cut-off jean shorts and sneakers with no socks or t-shirts and who are whores? want control over you own body? a chance at a better educational system? a healthcare system less controlled by insurance companies and drug companies? a president whose wife isn't an elitist fake as hell overaccessorized dangerous snob? a sane, competent option to a vice-president who believes there should be no separation between church and state, and no separation between state and corruption? then vote vote vote for obama biden 08. sexy sexy robot signing off."

two naked guys in glasses

if mccain wins, besides global thermonuclear war on january 21, these two guys after the jump will still be naked. at least i can count on something.

fuck you william shatner

way to completely disregard the genuine reasons why george takei didn't invite you to his wedding. and by the way, george coming out was a big deal and is a big deal. not a "be gay, don't be gay" whatever thing as you say. p.s. we all still think you probably killed your wife. the one you found floating in the pool. but hey, "kill her, don't kill her" whatever. allegedly.

update: george takei released a statement that he had invited shatner after all. and i believe george. though i will give it to bill that i don't think he's homophobic, just that he doesn't understand the challenges of being an openly gay actor. it's actually a tad bit more difficult than being an openly bald actor.

his balls is purple

no really, i eyedropper tooled his plumpsack and them balls is purple. he best loosen his cock ring. after the jump.

palin as president

the only parody that's 100% factual. you all know mccain has days to live.

do you think he works out?

like, just a little? after the nsfw jump.

most self-referential music video ever

take on me - the literal version

rodger at perfectguyz is ...

rodger at perfectguyz is a major beauty. tall, lean. and thankfully a total fucking exhibitionist. watch him jack it up.

the great schlep, according to sarah silverman

triple threat of new muscle at manifest men

peter, xavier and frank of manifest men show off their well-worked bodies for your pleasure. they want you to watch as they flex, pose and stroke. time to feed their egos. they deserve it.