ultranow

approve referendum 71 (watch if you're a washington voter or know any)

learn more at approve71.org.

um toilet lid goes up before you do your business fella

unless he's standing there naked for some other reason? some scientific experiment related to scrubbing bubbles. or maybe sears catalog modeling.

he learned how to tie his shoes all by himself or at least the left one

barack obama wins nobel peace prize, aka wtf?

i guess he won 9 months into his presidency because he didn't start any new wars. just hasn't ended the pesky ittie bittie murderous futile ones in iraq and afghanistan, and hasn't quite started one in iran yet. of course by that measure, i should have won also. unless you count my war with latoya jackson. she's going down!

but seriously, i'd give the nobel peace prize to joy behar before barack obama, kay?

lady gaga said "just dance" so he did

disgrace jones guylesque teaches the world to count

disgrace jones is back! song courtesy of the radiant pointer sisters. and yeah, it's from sesame street just like you remember. this is from magnum male burlesque night at rebar seattle. hosted by sylvia o'stayformore. people are calling this act the onion but minus the tears. you'll see why.

michael jackson autopsy

reports earlier this week were that jackson was relatively healthy except for some scars, arm punctures, lung damage and arthritis. even his weight was within normal parameters for a 5'9" alien guy. one autopsy i read said he was producing sperm. this was the cryptic last line of the autopsy article. completely appropriate. i didn't know you could attach an autojack machine to a corpse. of course if i were an editor, it would have been my headline. "hoards line up for artificial mj insemination: latoya first in line."

so bottom line michael jackson was basically healthy. um, except for the whole dead thing! yeah.

does my shirt match my pants?