ultranow

michelle kwan and al parker - together in a blog post for the very first time (probably)

i can stop holding my breath because michelle kwan has been named to the u.s olympic team. after being unable to compete in nationals due to injury, she had to perform her short and long programs for a special panel (as had nancy kerrigan in '94) and they thankfully determined she's olympics ready. so now the olympics can officially happen, because i don't know what we were going to do without her. after all, she's already in all the promos. that said, i hate the nationalism of the olympics. i seriously root for everyone to do their best and i hate the "go usa!" coverage. isn't it supposed to be a way for nations to gather in a peaceful (albeit competitive) community spirit? instead nbc fills the airwaves with profiles of u.s. athletes instead of showing non-u.s. athlete's performances and acts like it's all about medal count. oh and i just remembered my two most hated words every olympics - bob costas. his sincerity makes me sick. i say get kathy griffin to host everything. 2 hours 55 minutes a night of clay "gaiken" jokes with 5 minutes of "so and so won...so and so won...now back to gaiken!"

a nose is a nose is a nose

what do ken olin, al parker, simon mccorkindale, paul newman and jon-erik hexum have in common?

• 1 of 5 starred in "death on the nile" and in the awkward yet fantastically stimulating tv trash "manimal" alongside melody anderson of "flash gordon".
• 2 of 5 are badly badly dead.
• a different 2 of 5 starred in "falcon crest".
• 3 of 5 are jewish.
• 4 of 5 probably got at least one job by the lavender casting couch (excepting al parker, whose whole career was a casting couch).
• and 5 of 5 have noses that make me as hard as one can get from staring at a sexy fucking celeb proboscis, schnoz, dicksniffer, armpit nuzzler, turn your head just right to kiss me device. yum.