ultranow

exercise for me(n) only

so i went to a personal trainer 9 times in december and waxed about it halfway through in things that hurt.  and it did.  but then it didn't hurt as badly and i recovered more quickly each time and began to notice improvements, not that i'll be appearing clothesless here anytime soon.  i am definitely an exhibitionist but only at home with the blinds drawn and the lights off and my eyes closed.  now i've joined a gym and have started working out on my own as in sans trainer as in the only people around me are grunting busybodies and i'm one of them.

today was my first day at the new gym and i pushed myself about 85% as hard as my trainer had which by some misinformed math means it will take me 15% longer to reach my goals which by the way i don't have any specific goals besides being stronger and healthier which i already feel.  so it's not about attaining certain measurements meaning i don't plan on hanging a weight from my dick but if i did i'd hang the 22.5 pound dumbbell because i like saying dumbbell because it's so how they threw shade on leave it to beaver.

the gym is not the enemy.  it's just work.  it's just tough.  and then i go home.  the best part was being too lazy to change back into my bacco bucci low boots so i wore my blue black ben sherman pants with my white asics sneakers, like diane keaton wore a skirt and sneakers in baby boom for her commute and basically every woman did too in working girl except melanie griffith whom i think wore stilettos on the subway.  since i haven't name brand dropped enough, let me add the socks were smartwool and the underwear was sweaty.  though sweaty is not a brand.  it's a lifestyle.  okay, calvin klein red band because they're comfortable and mr. ck is not rich enough.

while i was doing this, the media was still obsessing about britney spears falling asleep in a vegas nightclub on new year's eve.  or maybe she passed out drunk.  i don't care.   it's just to distract us from the real issues - wars/occupations, the fda approving cloned food, and kathy griffin being banned from several major talk shows because people are afraid of her.  now i need to eat organic chicken and broccoli and yams while wearing american apparel sweatpants and t-shirt.  this would be a good deal more pretentious if i'd mentioned dolce & gabbana once.

britney spears lacks vagina pride

now that the internet has actual britney spears vagina shots due to her recent sans panties clubkidding, the fake ones can take their rightful place in the digital shitpile.  more than one entertainment news pundit blared on about how disgusting britney's display was, how she's a role model and has kids and shouldn't be doing this, how she's out of control as illustrated by her hanging with paris and lindsay, and blah blah blah how britney is evil.

and britney herself has apologized on her site, feeding the vagina shame bandwagon.  bet she got paid for the victoria's secret plug.  she should have held out for a la perla endorsement.

so nobody is saying what should be said, which is:  there is nothing wrong with vagina.  there is nothing wrong with britney's vagina.  there is nothing wrong with seeing britney's vagina.  there is nothing wrong with pantilessness.  vagina is magic.  vagina is power.  vagina is body.  body is beautiful.  dammit.

i'm just getting started...happy holidays everyone!

avi

in defense of k-fed

why we all beefing with him?  when he beefed with britney, he says he needed to clear his head and go out with the boys/girls/booze/whatever.  flee the situation like a real man flees a situation.  britney beefed with him because of his husband failings but why we all beefing with him too?  i defend him to the utmost.  and here's why.

• when he smokes in front of his babies, he does his best to keep the smoke from blowing directly in their faces, so they'll only get half baby asthma.  okay that was sarcastic but i had to work it out of my system.  now i will truly defend him.
• he rocked the cornrows 10 times as good as bo derek ever did. unfortunately 10 x 0 = 0, but don't tell him that.  another dig.  i swear i want to defend him.
• he sucks a mean dick.  his own.  well that's just true.
• now he's free to fuck over some other x-factor but nothing else starlet.  might i suggest dana plato?
• leeches help with blood clotting during surgery, should britney ever be in such a need.
  
• now britney can be a lesbian.  the girlie kind.  lipsuck lesbian britney dating farrah fawcett.  it'd be just what farrah needs to help her through the colon cancer.
• playgirl k-fed countdown begins now.  that has to be the only reason britney was with him, right?  he's packing, right?
• he's takes it up the pooper real good, the only catch being the girl's celebrity penis strap-on has to be the custom designed keven federline model.
• best thing i can say in defense of k-fed is that he's dead.  to britney at least.  soon to the rest of us.