ultranow

my brain is fucking tricky

i'm a playa hata.  officially.  because i want intimacy.  ltr.  and so many playas are so fucking hot and sexy and smart and fun i'm drawn to them.  now i don't put out.  i really don't.  so they lose interest quickly.  but in the meantime i get emotionally involved and feel ruined for at least a day or a week or longer.  so i hate playas and gym whores and egoists and showoffs and the emotionally unavailable and the non-flirty.  because i'm trying for ltr, right?  and all these puresexual guys, these onlysexual guys are in my way, right?  cause i'm not hiding anymore.  i'm not hiding anymore from looking for dates and love and emotion and all, right?

if i reply to this, does that mean i'm a massive egotist?

oh and let me add, when you search for the keyword "date" in craigslist m4m it really cuts down the prospects, just like searching for a date at a bar.  but i figure pretty much every guy but one won't be the one so i fully expect to meet and flirt with and want guys who turn out to be non-ones.  how romantically analytical.  see i like "thinking" and "information" and, fuck it, he's 20.  i don't want to even try to go there.