ultranow

i can tell bodybuilding is working for me because

my jeans are tighter in the legs than ever. kinda how the incredible hulk's jeans threaten busting the seams as he turns from bill bixby to lou ferrigno. except i'm not angry. or green. or bill bixby. i am nearing my goal of meeting the body standards of the 1986 international male catalog. except for the jew thing. they were not into that. now if only i could get my hair to feather like '86.

i can't handle this

international male catalog copywriting overkill

formative 1980s softcore

browsing poster racks at the mall allowed me to get a male fix without revealing myself to be male obsessed. how long could i gush/take in these images before i just had to go to the next poster? no one was watching me browse but maybe they were and it was too much to keep looking. all that mattered was between posters of formulaic sensations heather locklear, heather thomas and flashdance were breaths of fresh male softcore. thanks to playgirl, the fitness craze, gq and the collective aura of a hundred million cock-craving faggots, a few images seeped into my consciousness. here's to you playgirl and international male catalog model brian buzzini. here's to you soloflex stud scott madsen. i want you to go into a dark closet together and play seven minutes in heaven. you gave me mine. now it's your turn.