ultranow

the weekend was fabulicous

because i:

• met a miniature poodle named mr. cuddles
• had molly moon's ice cream for the first time
• saw adventureland
• witnessed a guy/princess at the seattle eagle bitch into his cell "can't hear you. they need to turn down this fucking music!"
• hung with a flirty banker/porn actor
• shined in my singing lesson

ok it wasn't all roses and peaches and pears and kiwis, because i also:

• learned my jason statham adoration has its limits, aka transporter 3 (is it possible to un-netflix something?)
• married and divorced the shamwow guy
• again didn't say hi to a guy i want to say hi to at the gym though to my credit maybe i don't want to say hi just look from afar because he never smiles and i only find vulcans attractive in outer space

jason statham is jesus is jason statham

in the soon to be released crank, jason statham is a hit man who learns that the poison in his body will kill him if his heart rate drops too low.  so it's speed meets fantastic voyage, which is to say he plays a bus that goes inside a person and the person can't slow down.  i'm confused.  all i know is i want to see his exposed power ass that no flimsy hospital gown can contain.  which by the way the reverse shot of this is in playgirl right now which i can't find a scan of online and i'm too lazy to buy one sorry.  but just imagine.  imagine.

black speedo + tempting sac + he-gams + pointed toes + sex chin = jason statham