ultranow

johnny weir, are you queer?

presenting the soon to be classic flash in the pan made by moi garageband virgin truthtelling cry for attention paul lyndesque retro '90s queer nation semi-celebrity non-snarky most unnecessary outing of all time mini megamix johnny weir, are you queer? (josie cotton vs ultranow).  i'm the fag everytime josie says queer.  the big fag.  and johnny's the queer.  the big queer.

evan lysacek vs johnny weir

i've been thinking so much about the is johnny weir gay question that i've let u.s. national silver medalist evan lysacek slip from my consciousness. fact is, he's sexier than johnny, an equally good if not better jumper and spinner, and a strong stylist in his own right. plus he earned the bronze medal at last year's world championships while johnny came in 4th, and unlike johnny, evan has a reliable quad jump. and also unlike johnny, he's not due for a talking to from u.s. figure skating officials for some expressive drug analogies.  squeaky clean, cheekbones of death and tons of personality - evan is my future boyfriend.

still johnny comes through with the soundbites.  on getting up the morning of the free skate:

"weir said, he awoke from a nap in a panic. i was like, 'is this really happening? should I even get up?' it's hard. [but] slowly, i started to get ready."

"i put on my self-tanner and went from there."

oh to be johnny's self-tanner and caress his beauteous face and...oh fuck it, i want evan.

johnny weir is "the prettiest flower in the pond"

is 2 time u.s. figure skating champion johnny weir gay? he has a highly refined and balletic style, skin that's clearly courtesy of the finest all natural beauty products from nordstrom, is the first and only man to skate to swan lake, and is named johnny. not all skaters are gay of course (but he must be). in fact it was '84 olympic gold medalist scott hamilton who purposely wore a plain blue getup for his winning night because he was sick of how glittery and glitzy and "feminine" the costumes were getting at the time. i'm not saying scott hamilton was homophobic, but it's fucking fabric, not a sexual orientation. johnny however has no such hangups.

he's had a rough season until today, when he took the lead in the men's short program. if he nails his free skate, he's headed to the olympics. and the press will have to come up with even more code words for gay. here's the current sampling:

"he's as flamboyant as liberace but more competitive.  he's as tough as bruce willis but a better dresser."