ultranow

welcome to the tweens

right after an unkosher 30something club kid jew with a backwards chai necklace asked to buy cocaine from me (due possibly to my being in a bret easton ellis less than zero style suit ensemble) a friend brilliantly named this decade (since we had to say goodbye to the aughties).

after i insisted it couldn't just be called the teens because of the first three years of the decade, he suggested the tweens. so officially for 2010, 11 and 12 it will be the tweens. and only 2013 to 19 shall be called the teens. spread the word. ultranow has spoken from on low.

bonus points for acting like a tween the next three years. so buy your mary-kate and ashley collection glitter embossed ensembles at target and get your hannah montana miley cyrus everything on. plus act spoiled and petulant and pointless and demand people buy you things that will fall apart in minutes. we are tweens. you are one of us.

kanye west will let you finish

groove on the kanye west meme action imaletyoufinish.com. here's a tasteless taste:

name meme

tagged by modern fabulousity.  now don't all go thinking i'll meme to every meme that's memed my way.  modfab is special, that's all.  oh, and i don't memetag people, unless one day i come up with my own meme and want to start it up.  perhaps i'll call it the meme meme though i bet that's been done done.

• name name: avi
• gangsta name (1st 4 letters plus izzle): avizzle which isn't so much gangsta as it is gangster
• detective name (fave color + fave animal): brown leech
• soap opera name (middle name + childhood street): i ain't sayin' my middle name and old address on here
• star wars name (last 3 letters of your last name + first 2 letters of your first name + first 3 letters of mom’s maiden name):  not saying this either
• your superhero name (2nd fave color + fave drink):  we don't need another heeee-ro or okay we do and that hero's name is light blue carrot beet ginger pear cucumber juice
• witness protection name (grandma/grandpa’s first name + jones): no thank you jones
• your goth name (black + name of one of your pets): avi because i'm naturally part goth anyway plus it's a stereotype that goths are just about black
• american idol name (fav car and sea food): bus wild salmon
• movie star name (sibling’s middle name + mother's maiden name): no + no
• alter ego (name of one your childhood pets + popular brand of clothes when you were young): dead tropical fish wranglers
• lawyer name (fav actor’s last name + fav hard liquor): ferrera tincture
• hip hop name (fav candy + fruit): queen bee honey candy mango

eyawtkaubwata

as in everything (or some things) you always wanted to know about ultranow but were afraid to ask. see gabriel of modfab meme-tagged me so what's a girl to do but answer up?

1. How old were you when you knew you were gay? kindergarten during show and tell when I was looking at the boy in front of me’s exposed lower back/nickelslot instead of whatever someone was showing & telling
2. Have you ever had sex with the opposite sex? i oppose the binary gender system that has created the phrase "opposite sex"
3. Who was the first person you came out to?  paul lynde, though i don't think he was paying attention
4. Are you out to your family?  that question is so 1987
5. Do you want children? of course not.
6. Do you have more gay friends or straight friends?  non-straight
7. Were you out in school?  high school no
8. Is your best friend the same sex as you? there are as many sexes as there are people, so no
9. Have you ever had sex with them? of course not
10. Would you prefer to date a guy taller than you or shorter than you? i would prefer to date a guy period