ultranow

paris hilton fashion nonsense

i don't need this looking at me on my way to work. seattle is fake enough.

at least the real barbie with a headband is all the way fake. no pretense.

the only time you'll see paris hilton on ultranow is when she's making fun of someone i despise

i'm referring to john mccain, whose obama attack ad this is a response to. not lionel richie, though i despise lionel richie too. oh gosh in posting this i see i had a paris hilton tag, but that was just because there was this trashy pop song of hers that i dug for a minute. don't judge me. paris doesn't.

five self-embarrassingnesses (yes, paris hilton is involved)

five  sometimes i'm afraid to make eye contact with people because i think their eyes are going to shoot death rays and turn me into a colander, and not the good kind of colander from sur la table but the bad kind from ikea (which i pronounce icky).  i have never been proven wrong.

four  i don't always think kathy griffin is 100% brilliantly hilarious (more like 79%).  face it people, she's d list for a reason.

three  i've turned down one night stand opportunities that i actually secretly wanted at the time but was too busy maintaining a self-contained i'm looking for a boyfriend posture to admit to myself that the person offering wasn't boyfriend material but was sexbomb material that would have made everything better for exactly that one night.  these turn downs do not even include men who've flirted with me to whom i've remained oblivious because i'm not in a mode that can conceive of a man flirting with me because i'm not feeling my best at the moment.  what's embarrassing are the lies i've told myself about men, about who they are and who i want them to be.  and the lies i've told myself about myself, about who i am and what i want, and who i want to be, and who i want to want and why.  if it feels good do it is not what i'm talking about.  if it feels good, consider doing it.  if it feels good, it feels good.  feel.  good.

two  if i ever get a dog, i'm going to name it mr. rogers and we'll watch mr. rogers together and cry often and deeply, especially during that episode where the goldfish dies.  and most especially on that episode where daniel the tiger does anything because i love daniel the tiger.  still.

one  after being clued into its existence yesterday by chrisafer at blah, blah, black sheep, i can't stop listening to this song [expired].  as in can't stop.  as in its play count in my itunes would be 27 if i ever let it get to the very end.  as in its play count on my mp3 player would also be 27 if it could count.