ultranow

gay bob: the world's first gay doll for everyone

was this before gay guys named bob started insisting on going by robert? this bob was genuinely a precursor to the '90s billy doll and while not unrealistic in its body image like the tom of finland inspired billy, it is unrealistic in other ways, none more so than "Take me home to meet your folks, your Mom will love me." i mean, since when is mom capitalized?

linkaliciousness

• no link to anything about adam lambert because i'm over her
• courdoroy skirts are a sin [tip from wick'd boy news]
• a complex article i don't hate about images of african-americans in precious
• john ensign and mark sanford's religious "family" is backing uganda's gay hate [and click the uganda tag in that article for more on the topic and p.s. obama better speak up about this]
• the main michelle obama mask for sale now has dramatically lightened her skin tone which is playing with fire in terms of offense because now her mask is lighter than barack obama's mask which is totally fucked up because it's not true and this does mean something i swear similar to the darkening of the villanous mug shot o.j. simpson photo on the cover of major magazines and i'm not commenting on the masks being caricatures as that's fine within reason but the problematic skin tones only so write your congressperson or the editor of vogue this has got to stop [tip from heretic saint]

does the presence of a teddy bear make this more or less depraved?

decide after the jump.

pavel novotny is all about dick and foosball

after the jump because foosball is adults only.

paris hilton fashion nonsense

i don't need this looking at me on my way to work. seattle is fake enough.

at least the real barbie with a headband is all the way fake. no pretense.

is this bondage?

barbie make music and money and scare people forever

the new barbie mp3 player (made to technologically bond with the frightening barbiegirls.com) plays what do you think?  here's where i would normally upload the japanese version of aqua's barbie girl, but i don't want to make your ears bleed, especially when other parts of you will already be bleeding from the consumerist rotten value frenzy that is the barbiegirls.com experience.  no offense mattel.  i mean to insult barbie as an individual, certainly not her corporate rulers.  all hail mattel.

pikachusexual

update: i did my best to match stuffed animal with fictional identity, but i messed it up.  see comment.  p.s. is that a desk in his closet?

this bear has a secret

angel: high school honor student teddy bear by day...

hollywood hooker teddy bear by night.

size matters